Scalp Collecting aint easy, Ya’ll

Scalp Collecting aint easy, Ya’ll

This is an update rant (because the whiskey told me so) about all of my upcoming projects…..Since the buzz is literally in my finger tips, I believe this to be the proper time to sum up all of my work…..

Stories We Tell Our Dead: This is my collection of short stories with a novella (The Glass Spider) included. This was originally suppose to be a serious collection with a lighter tone, but I said fuck that and took it from a nice PG13 to a NC17. Should be out soon!

Scalp Collectors: My free novel that I am releasing chapter by chapter on this blog. It is about 2 guys who live in a wasteland of a world and collect scalps for their government. A dose of spaghetti western, mixed with some apocalypse, and a dash of horror. It only makes the best dark comedy!

A Life on Mended Wings: A story about a 20 something trying to survive in the world. A novel filled with theories, criticism, broken hearts, sex, booze and personal hell. Though the book is fiction, it is all based on real stories from my own life.

A Sliver of the Moon: A horror mystery about a detective who is investigating a town where victims are being ripped to shreds by a beast. Sounds typical but I promise you it is not that simple….

Maybe or Maybe Not: I have tons of material I am working on. A novel about people who are trying to survive against a giant bird, another story about a guy who works as a DJ in a strip club, a story about a museum of monsters, and lastly, a secret novel called, Red Autumn Hill.

Do these sound interesting? Do you even give a fuck? We shall find out! Thanks for reading and keeping it all alive. From the bottom of my lonely heart I do appreciate all my support!

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Whiskey Wednesday: The Basis of Life

Whiskey Wednesday: The Basis of Life

Well, it’s Whiskey Wednesday, and that is my favorite day of the week. Which is strange because I still have to work in the fucking morning, but I’m pretty sure my employers are used to my hangover mornings. (They make me food occasionally so it’s all good.) I have already drank three whiskeys, which is six shots of cherry whiskey all mixed with one little can of vanilla coke zero. That is a delicious drink so I suggest it. Some nights I suck down Jameson and ginger ale, or just a simple well whiskey with a little RC from the local bar in Downtown Bloomington. (Where I live.) However, I fall into a strange trance of thought that ranges to all of my adventures throughout the week, and all the shit I usually deal with. Maybe it’s interesting, but maybe it’s not. I am my own worst critic.

 

A snake named Rhaegar.

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Isn’t he pretty? (Looks a lot bigger than he actually is…)

So late last week my boss, Mark asked if I was interested in buying a python from his breeder friend. It was a lesser with black and gold colors. (Beautiful) I told him I would think about it, even though I was totally going to buy it since the breeder only wanted a 100 bucks for a snake that is worth much more. I ran off to my local pet store and bought a new tank. While trying to put my new tank in my vehicle I had happened to clip the corner across my right arm and I gushed blood like a stuck hog. I rained blood down and dripped into the parking lot. Great….The next day I ran over to Mark’s house and met the breeder who gave me my shy little ball of joy. At the time I was only 75 percent sure I wanted a second snake, (I have an adorable albino baby corn snake girl named, Banshee.) but after I put him in my hand I went from 75 to 100 percent. I do realize that owning these snakes has made me less attractive to at least 50 percent or more of the female population, which is a real pain in the ass but I guess if you can’t love my precious little rat banes then maybe you can’t love me. I did name my snake after Rhaegar Targaryen, which is a dead prince mentioned in A Song of Ice and Fire book series. (Game of Thrones) Rhaegar is probably Jon Snow’s father or maybe its Ned Stark’s older brother is his father! Who the hell knows besides Martin!? (New sample chapter from The Winds of Winter) Maybe I will cross this topic down the road, but it’s a real bitch to write about fan theories.

 

The Marvel Civil War

Every fucking person I have talked to went on and saw Captain America, Civil War on opening night. I originally meant to but I got distracted with this little thing called, “Having a Fucking life!” But no seriously, I really wanted to see it. Matt and I saw it Monday night and we both really enjoyed it. I am really burnt out on Marvel movies right now and I have been waaaaay more invested in the Marvel Netflix shows. (Daredevil, Jessica Jones) They just have a darker tone, especially with my personal fav, The Punisher joining in! (I am planning a long Punisher topic in the future.)

 

Matt’s Going Away Party

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I am throwing a little party for my best friend, Matt this Saturday. We will start off playing games and start drinking with our friends before we wonder into the downtown life and get white girl wasted, but honestly we are usually worse than that….Matt is currently dating a girl out in L.A. and will be leaving on the 23 of this month to join her. I have gone almost 20 years of my 25 year life with this kid by my side…..things will be interesting…..

 

Book Stuff

With the release of my first novel coming very soon, I have grown paranoid about the content in it. I have gotten a little crazy with the stress in it and getting a fucking cover made. I will be releasing a collection of short stories a short time after the release. One of the stories I dedicated to my mother for Mother’s day, which she claimed she loved. (Maybe) Very soon you will see a sample chapter appearing on here.

 

Problems

Well, we all have problems, like how I just broke Rheagan’s new heat bulb. So now my golden boy has to go a night without any warmth. Another problem is getting my apartment clean for this party on Saturday. (Also need to invite the bros….) Getting enough sleep so I don’t live on green tea and coke zero at work. Make dinner….oh yeah….Maybe getting a date? Or make some hella bank and moving on from this cesspool of a job and finding a better existence of reality. I should probably stop bitching.

 

Food

Whiskey makes me hungry so I am going to bake catfish and some Cajun green beans…..Nothing special about this…..well maybe Cajun green beans. (Just green beans covered in butter or olive oil with dashes of Cajun seasoning….its amazing.)

 

(Notice how each section I write gets smaller and smaller……)

 

What’s New Bro?

I am going to be writing articles called “Why all the hate?” It’s where I look at celebrities or things that the world hates and argue that we shouldn’t. I may even tell you who you should hate. This first person I am going to argue for will be, W. Axl Rose…….Side note…..I have a chart I am making called “Sex and Cheeseburgers.” Yeah, you will never look at a Whopper again without thinking about handjobs….. Very sad handjobs… (I totally had to add Handjobs to my dictionary and I am not proud of that….)

 

What am I watching?

Currently, I am watching Party Down when I fall asleep, Buffy or Angel when I am cleaning, and possibly the new episode of Arrow before slumber land.

 

T.W. Lycan is out!