Hello November

Hello November

45150747_10156630813152593_3865849915091451904_oIt has been awhile, but it always has been. I’ll get better about it one of these days. Thank God October is over! That is a busy month for me with my 31 Nights of horror, which is 31 nights of watching horror films. This year I did a Halloween marathon for 11 nights. Ten Halloween movies followed by the new one (It is really good!) My favorite random horror film to watch was The Invitation (2015) It is a solid movie! Watch it! Now, onto November….

There is thing where I try to write one page a day in November….but here we are on day six and I have already written over twenty pages on a new novel. At this rate I will be at a finished first draft by December! All of 2018 I have been lost on what I have wanted to write about since my collection of short stories (Stories we tell our Dead) and I have ideas for horror, syfy, fantasy, and even romance, but I couldn’t decide. A lot of changes have occurred this year and my loneliness had gotten the better of me….I need to write about the summer of 2016…

That was an interesting summer. A bad summer. I was drunk probably every single night back then….and adventures happened and i learned stories from many people and saw situations occur…all not good but at the very least it slowly formed a story in my brain…..my great American novel. (Life on Mended Wings) Since November 1st I began tapping away on this keyboard, and Buddy, business is booming!

I tell a lot of truths and secrets I have never told anyone. I feel I need to for reasons that are lost in the stratosphere. However the book is about millennials, mental illness, love, hate, sex, booze, drugs, and coming of age. Maybe you will like it? Or maybe you will piss on it? Lets see shall we….

Life. Life has been weird. I have been going through weird bouts of loneliness for some reason. I never really have this issue but something is causing it. I am having paranoid thoughts about my closest friends. Maybe they hate me, what did I do?  I only ever see Shaffer, Andrew, and Fat John which is cool I love those guys, some of my best friends but there are others and it makes me wonder….. Then there is my dog….

Nessie, my favorite. She is a 10 year old lab with some health issues. One issue that took a biopsy to check. I have not received the results yet and I am strong about it. I’ll do anything to save that dog. There isn’t a person on this world that understands me like that dog, and I know that there is a big chance at her death, and that will send me deep into a pit of despair that will take awhile for me to climb out of. If I am right about my thoughts on my friends then I can’t lose her….I can’t I just fucking can’t! She wouldn’t give up on me and I can read her face..she wants to live, she doesn’t want to leave. This loneliness, I’ll do anything. I love that dog so much! It was always suppose to her and I against the world but fate and life decided to take their big dicks out and slap me in the face. That is the world for you……..

In other news….I voted for Gov. and it looks like I voted right! JB do your thing Boy! Illinois Gov. usually end up in prison. So, if he succeeds that is awesome! If he goes to prison, well, that is pretty funny! Win, win!

I almost shot a deer last night while hunting. Didn’t work out, laws of mother nature playing her cards. Next time hopefully!!!!

I recently went to a club for some live music and had my face painted for charity. I had it painted like the wrestler Jeff Hardy. I kinda look like an I.C.P bitch, but I promise you I was going for the charismatic Enigma look!



My Chicago Bulls are losing…Levine Looks great though! My Bears are finally looking great! It is really exciting to watch them play….it hasn’t been that way since 2006…….I probably just fucking jinxed it (For fucks sake Tyler)

My kidneys started hurting bad last month, so bad at work I went into the bathroom and crawled into the fetal position, keeping myself from screaming. It was hurting so bad I wanted to fucking die. I kept remembering parts of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow to try and take my mind off of it. Since then, I have made an appointment with my doctor, went on a diet, and have been working out after work. I cut back on the drinking pretty hardcore. Takes days off, but tonight I decided to mix cheap whiskey with filtered water and its doing the trick. Sorry vanilla coke zero…I do not trust you….

To all my Tyler Wayniacs who buy copies of my books, who support me, follow me, or even read these blog posts, just remember that I love you and will always be grateful for it. No matter what!

Till next time!

Love, Tyler Wayne






Whiskey Wednesday: The Basis of Life

Whiskey Wednesday: The Basis of Life

Well, it’s Whiskey Wednesday, and that is my favorite day of the week. Which is strange because I still have to work in the fucking morning, but I’m pretty sure my employers are used to my hangover mornings. (They make me food occasionally so it’s all good.) I have already drank three whiskeys, which is six shots of cherry whiskey all mixed with one little can of vanilla coke zero. That is a delicious drink so I suggest it. Some nights I suck down Jameson and ginger ale, or just a simple well whiskey with a little RC from the local bar in Downtown Bloomington. (Where I live.) However, I fall into a strange trance of thought that ranges to all of my adventures throughout the week, and all the shit I usually deal with. Maybe it’s interesting, but maybe it’s not. I am my own worst critic.


A snake named Rhaegar.


Isn’t he pretty? (Looks a lot bigger than he actually is…)

So late last week my boss, Mark asked if I was interested in buying a python from his breeder friend. It was a lesser with black and gold colors. (Beautiful) I told him I would think about it, even though I was totally going to buy it since the breeder only wanted a 100 bucks for a snake that is worth much more. I ran off to my local pet store and bought a new tank. While trying to put my new tank in my vehicle I had happened to clip the corner across my right arm and I gushed blood like a stuck hog. I rained blood down and dripped into the parking lot. Great….The next day I ran over to Mark’s house and met the breeder who gave me my shy little ball of joy. At the time I was only 75 percent sure I wanted a second snake, (I have an adorable albino baby corn snake girl named, Banshee.) but after I put him in my hand I went from 75 to 100 percent. I do realize that owning these snakes has made me less attractive to at least 50 percent or more of the female population, which is a real pain in the ass but I guess if you can’t love my precious little rat banes then maybe you can’t love me. I did name my snake after Rhaegar Targaryen, which is a dead prince mentioned in A Song of Ice and Fire book series. (Game of Thrones) Rhaegar is probably Jon Snow’s father or maybe its Ned Stark’s older brother is his father! Who the hell knows besides Martin!? (New sample chapter from The Winds of Winter) Maybe I will cross this topic down the road, but it’s a real bitch to write about fan theories.


The Marvel Civil War

Every fucking person I have talked to went on and saw Captain America, Civil War on opening night. I originally meant to but I got distracted with this little thing called, “Having a Fucking life!” But no seriously, I really wanted to see it. Matt and I saw it Monday night and we both really enjoyed it. I am really burnt out on Marvel movies right now and I have been waaaaay more invested in the Marvel Netflix shows. (Daredevil, Jessica Jones) They just have a darker tone, especially with my personal fav, The Punisher joining in! (I am planning a long Punisher topic in the future.)


Matt’s Going Away Party


I am throwing a little party for my best friend, Matt this Saturday. We will start off playing games and start drinking with our friends before we wonder into the downtown life and get white girl wasted, but honestly we are usually worse than that….Matt is currently dating a girl out in L.A. and will be leaving on the 23 of this month to join her. I have gone almost 20 years of my 25 year life with this kid by my side…..things will be interesting…..


Book Stuff

With the release of my first novel coming very soon, I have grown paranoid about the content in it. I have gotten a little crazy with the stress in it and getting a fucking cover made. I will be releasing a collection of short stories a short time after the release. One of the stories I dedicated to my mother for Mother’s day, which she claimed she loved. (Maybe) Very soon you will see a sample chapter appearing on here.



Well, we all have problems, like how I just broke Rheagan’s new heat bulb. So now my golden boy has to go a night without any warmth. Another problem is getting my apartment clean for this party on Saturday. (Also need to invite the bros….) Getting enough sleep so I don’t live on green tea and coke zero at work. Make dinner….oh yeah….Maybe getting a date? Or make some hella bank and moving on from this cesspool of a job and finding a better existence of reality. I should probably stop bitching.



Whiskey makes me hungry so I am going to bake catfish and some Cajun green beans…..Nothing special about this…..well maybe Cajun green beans. (Just green beans covered in butter or olive oil with dashes of Cajun seasoning….its amazing.)


(Notice how each section I write gets smaller and smaller……)


What’s New Bro?

I am going to be writing articles called “Why all the hate?” It’s where I look at celebrities or things that the world hates and argue that we shouldn’t. I may even tell you who you should hate. This first person I am going to argue for will be, W. Axl Rose…….Side note…..I have a chart I am making called “Sex and Cheeseburgers.” Yeah, you will never look at a Whopper again without thinking about handjobs….. Very sad handjobs… (I totally had to add Handjobs to my dictionary and I am not proud of that….)


What am I watching?

Currently, I am watching Party Down when I fall asleep, Buffy or Angel when I am cleaning, and possibly the new episode of Arrow before slumber land.


T.W. Lycan is out!

My pet Corn Snake. What I feel and what I know.

Back in September I received a birthday present from a friend. A snake. An albino Corn snake. My friend she literally lives in an apartment full of animals. From dogs to turtles and even snakes. He was tiny then, only a baby and no longer than my palm. She told me he was born last July. He shit on my hand the first time I held him. Yeah this was going to be fun.
He was a bit scared of me in the beginning. How could I blame him? He was just a tiny little red orange worm. Naming him was the hardest part and after his several failed attempts at biting me I ended up naming him Azrael. The name was a term I took from my Batman comics and its actual meaning is The Angel of Death.
Azrael moved in with me to my new apartment. It’s a one bedroom and he was my only roommate. He shed on his first night here and it looked as if he doubled in size. He ate the next night and soon I was showing him to everyone I knew. I had big plans for him! When he would get bigger I wanted to make little wizard hats to put on his head, take a picture and proceed. Azrael would have hated me before long. Everyone and including people who are afraid of snakes told me he was adorable. That was true but he could get aggressive easily. I noticed that he would shake the tip of his tale when he would get agitated, almost like a rattlesnake. It was his normal thing when people tried to touch him. He was just getting used to me so I doubt anyone else would be as lucky.
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I started dreaming of him, almost every night for a couple months. Him slithering around. Nothing specific. It was odd and I felt almost disturbed by this, but I never understood and I still don’t know.
Very soon after I received him he stopped eating. He wouldn’t go near his food, just avoided it. I read that this had to do with stress or sometimes snakes just never felt like eating. I even read it wasn’t uncommon for a snake to go months without eating. This really bothered me that he would do this at such a young age. October became November and almost December before he finally ate a mouse. I was so happy! I took a video of it and sent it to my mother. (She hates snakes)
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Now I have always been a dog guy. I have a chocolate lab girl named Nessie. She is a big dog and these type of dogs live from 12-14 years of age. She is only 6 and weighs 83 pounds. I read that Azrael could live as long as 25 years and grow 5-6 feet! I was going to have my work cut out with this guy. He was going to outlive my dog and probably the next dog as well. I could be almost 50 years old before he would die. Azrael could literally live through a lot of critical years of my life. Maybe a future wife and children? Not on the table right now, but not out of the question. He would probably be living in my first house and any other place I end up at. That is if he didn’t escape first.
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Now I always knew that snakes were escape artists and I already guessed this guy was going to attempt at some point or another. So I placed a large survival knife I take hiking on the lid. It is really heavy and he is too small to bump the lid. One night I watched him climb on top of his log and slide along the glass to crawl up into a small space in the edge of the tank. Azrael had no chance of escaping but I watched in wonder as he crawled in the small gap all the way around the tank. He did two laps before he slipped and fell out. A few minutes later he tried again and made it about half a lap before he fell from the top. I only ever seen him do this one other time. Usually I could just find him under his log or getting some heat from his light.
A couple weeks ago I went to feed him another one of his frozen pinky mice. After it thawed I ran some warm water over it to get its blood good and ready for Azrael. He nearly ripped it out of my hand! I dropped it in his feeding box and he struck. What was interesting about this was he attacked it with the speed of an adult snake and even tried to coil it. (Unsuccessfully) I only imagined what he would be like as an adult. I think Azrael might have been the perfect name for him.
I adored him no matter how mean he could get. I went to feed him a week later and he got really aggressive. He struck at my hands multiple times and no pain was earned since his mouth was so small. I placed him in his feeding box and was trying to give him another mouse. He instead struck at my fingers and hand. After several minutes he wouldn’t even look at the mouse when I dropped it in. That’s when I noticed his a small bulge near the end of his tail. He hadn’t passed his last mouse yet.
Worried I checked online and they said that this could be pretty common with snakes and that it will pass in time, it also could be because he was trying to shed. I did notice his body was a little flaky so I placed him back inside his tank and I left him alone. He was always more aggressive during his shedding stage so I allowed him his space.
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Now, I check on him every day more than once. Before I go to work, when I come home from work, and before bed. I ask him little questions like, “Hungry yet, Buddy?” or “How you doing you little bastard?” (Of course I do this without expecting an answer. I am not crazy!) On February 23 I awoke to finding him coiled up under his last heat light. Nothing uncommon and before I went to bed I saw him moving around under his log. I went to work not really thinking anything of it. When I came home I was looking through my mail and I went into my room to check on him like I do.
He seemed to be in the same position I left him in when I went to work. I didn’t think much of it but I did notice his water bowl was a little low. I preceded to pour some water into his bowl. Normally this causes Azrael to scurry into his log when I do that, but this time he didn’t move. I got a little worried. I said his name and reached to pick him up. I hooked his body with two fingers and noticed how limp he was. Upon lifting he didn’t move at all and his mouth was hanging open. Azrael was dead.
I placed him on top of his log and wondered into my kitchen. I sat down in a chair and stared into space for a long time. I got up and moved back into my room to see him still lying dead on top of the log. I pulled him out and expected him. His body was flat and in certain spots and he had dark marks. I had no idea what happened and I filled myself with despair.
I talked to my friends and other people. They kept telling me it wasn’t my fault. You took great care of him and you shouldn’t put that on your shoulders, but I did notice his how aggressive he was a few days before. I did notice something was off and I just assumed the obvious. I remember thinking maybe if I take him to a pet store they would have somebody look him over and maybe they could have figured out a way to save him.
I wrapped Azrael in paper towels and placed him in a shoe box. Soon, the loneliness sunk in. He had been with me in this apartment since the day I moved in. (My dog has to stay at my dad’s place since I can’t have a dog that big in such a tiny place.) “Why?” I kept asking myself. “WHY?!” I would scream it! I felt like a failure…I still feel like a failure. I had such big ideas for him, I couldn’t wait to be able to wrap him around my neck when he was big enough, handle him outside, letting him slither around in the grass. I failed him, I failed myself. My first snake and he died in under a year. What did I do wrong? I cleaned his cage, I fed him, and watered him. WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!
I talked to my boss at work about it and he said maybe he had bad genetics because he was albino. Breeders will inbred to get certain types out of the offspring. I tell myself this to help myself calm down. I channel my hate towards the breeder. I have a friend who has pet snakes and he said 9/10 it wasn’t my fault. That the chances the snake died because of itself and not my care. These words help but I still feel like I failed a bit.
Yesterday I pondered if I should get another snake to help fill the void but I am going through that typical period “I don’t want another snake! I want Azrael!” I went to try and bury him at my grandparent’s farm. (A lot of our departed pets are buried out there) The ground is still too hard to bury him. So I placed him in a bag and he’s in my freezer in some strange irony since he is right next to his frozen mice.
That hurts knowing that. I have to hold him there until the ground warms up which could be as late as April in Illinois. I hate this feeling. I want him back so bad. Sleeping in my room hurts since it’s now pitch black. His heat lamp used to be my nightlight. It’s weird not checking on him all the time. I don’t know what I am going to do with his tank and his mice. I also have a feeling I will no longer dream of him.
It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don’t know who originally said that and don’t care to, but I have always lived by it and I know in time I will eventually set up his old tank and place a new snake in it. I am hooked on owning one as a pet. I’m a dog and snake owner for the rest of my days. Soon, I will be able to bury him at The Farm and allow him to join that circle of Life. The years will pass and other things will fill my heart with joy and other things will break my heart all over again. That’s the ugly truth and it’s the fucking world. As time will go on a new snake will grow in my care and I may have a wife and family with more dogs. In time I will only have a few pictures and my memories of him. Soon, the people that met him will forget about him and only I will remember there was once an albino corn snake named Azrael. I imagine I will never look at another snake again and not think about Azrael. As his body is absorbed into the earth, his memory passes with others, it will be like he never existed at all, except to me. Only me.
Azrael, I want to thank you for the months you gave me, the love I learned from raising you, the smiles you put on my face when I watched you. You were adorable and fascinating to watch. You have lead me down a path of owning snakes that will remain with me. Even if I can’t I will still think of you always as a part of my family, like Nessie and any other dog. I miss you even now. You could be a little prick, but you were mine and you learned from the best. I am sorry Azrael. I am so sorry. Rest now. Goodbye.